Brethern, we are gathered here today to commemorate all those who have died in the past and all those who intend to die sometime in the future. I think that covers everyone. Drop a few bob in the plate on your way out.
Let us pray.
Let us pray that there isn't a God up there who loves animals, because if there is, we're toast.
Let us pray that there isn't a God up there who cares about the world he created, for if there is, Old Nick will soon be cranking up the furnace.
Let us pray that there isn't a God up there who might bring us into existence for the fun of seeing us roast in Hell for all eternity, for the way things are, he's going to get his wish.
Let us pray that he has forgotten all about us and is busy somewhere else and that we can slip away safely into oblivion before anyone notices what we've done.
Let us pray.
Let us pray that there isn't a God up there who loves animals, because if there is, we're toast.
Let us pray that there isn't a God up there who cares about the world he created, for if there is, Old Nick will soon be cranking up the furnace.
Let us pray that there isn't a God up there who might bring us into existence for the fun of seeing us roast in Hell for all eternity, for the way things are, he's going to get his wish.
Let us pray that he has forgotten all about us and is busy somewhere else and that we can slip away safely into oblivion before anyone notices what we've done.
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